Thursday, January 10, 2013
At this point, Ava's upcoming surgery is a major part of my daily mental dailogue. The holidays were such a nice distraction. Not that I'm looking for pity here. In reality, though I sometimes struggle, I honestly feel like I'm in a good mental and emotional place right now. Research, time, love and prayer have been such a blessing.
But this post isn't about me. As we prepare for what we have ahead, I have to take on a positive, strong approach. It what we will do as parents. We are blessed to have Ava. We are blessed to have the options and answers we do. The journey that Ava is on is just Part.Of.Her.Story. It's part of who she is and who she'll be. I want her to take certain things away from her journey. Her path in life. I want her to grow up strong, positive, faithful, thankful, unique and with a sense of empowerment. I don't want her to look back and think something was ever "wrong". I don't want her to look back and wonder "why me?" like we have before. We don't know what caused Ava's craniosynostosis...was it a tight spot she got into in utero? Was it something hormonal? Was it something genetic? I was induced on my due date (or the day after, since the doctor quoted me with two different due dates) because I was low on amniotic fluid. That will forever be in my mind, me wondering if that was part of the problem.
Opps, now I'm on a tangent.
Anyway, I want Ava to be able to look back on her journey and see how much she's accomplished. Though I'm thankful that her scar will be able to be concealed with her hair, I'm glad she'll have that scar there to remind her of what she's overcome. Major cranial surgery at 9 months of age is no small feat. And this girl is a fighter. I already know that. She amazes us with her strength and determination every day. I know those traits will make her coming months easier and more amazing. But it won't be easy. I want her to be able to look back and know that "the struggle is part of the story"...her story.